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[partybabysitter]

Xenk Yendar

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[partybabysitter]

[ It's OK, Edgin, you made Xenk feel guilt for the first time, that's an achievement. Plus Xenk is about to say something stupid, so Edgin should totally get mad. ]

It is cruel. You did not ask for this life, and for that I can see how this would be a punishment.

You are defined by your pain. Yet, is this what your family would want for you?

[juiceofthevine]

Don't do that. You don't get to speculate about what they'd want.

[partybabysitter]

Very well. I will not.

However, you seem to believe that carrying their loss for an eternity is your punishment. I understand this is likely what the vampire who killed them intended for you, but it need not be so.

Would it not prove him wrong to find a new meaning in your unlife? This would not preclude you from mourning your family.

[juiceofthevine]

Funny you should mention finding meaning when I had a novice this year. And what happened there, Xenk?

[ oh they're doing this it's happening ]

I seem to recall someone insisting Blue Court wasn't worth his time.

[partybabysitter]

[ Oh, it's happening, huh!! Xenk is not backing down. ]

James was not suited for the Blue Court. This is a fact you understand as well, or you would have kept him from changing.

A novice is temporary. While he may have given you purpose temporarily, he would have been yours for only a year. What would you have done then?

[juiceofthevine]

This is exactly my point! Novices are temporary to you, but that's not the case for the rest of us. We don't just discard people when we're done with them.

You can't just abandon Jim like you did all the rest of your novices. Even if you don't manage to physically kill him, you'll tear his heart apart.

[partybabysitter]

I have no intention of abandoning him, Edgin. I am aware of my mistakes in my prior attempts and do not intend to repeat them.

I expect James will wish to foster his own life and relationships following his graduation. He is strong-willed and independent. While guiding him and caring for him will be my purpose until that day, it is temporary.

[ Xenk's maker died after his Becoming, he really doesn't think a Maker's duty goes past their novice's fourth season... ]

[juiceofthevine]

Founders, it's like trying to reason with a brick wall. You just really don't get it, do you?

Don't lecture me again about my choices.

[partybabysitter]

If there is something I am misunderstanding, please enlighten me.

I did not intend to "lecture" you. Merely I believe you deserve better than an unending existence committed only to your own sorrow and grief.

[juiceofthevine]

I keep telling you. Jim cares about people with his whole heart--he's not going to just want to walk away when it's over. He'll look to you for guidance. He'll want to know you care about him. That's wishful thinking, it seems, but he's the one that made that choice.

Why do you care about what I deserve?

[partybabysitter]

It is not my intention to see you suffer endlessly. This eternal fate of ours need not be a grim punishment, I merely wish that you might allow yourself to realize this.

I would ask that you do not presume to know my intentions, Edgin. I care about Jim greatly.

I know how deeply he suffered the loss of your bond. Thus I do not intend to keep him from you. While it is my hope to garner the relationship you describe, I will not control who he chooses to bond with, or where he seeks his comfort. I will teach him all that I can, but I am under no misconceptions as to where his heart lies.

[juiceofthevine]

He's capable of having room in his heart for one person.

I

I don't know why you're just giving up like that.

[ ironic, when Jim had accused him of the same. ]

[partybabysitter]

I fear I do not understand your metaphor. If he cares with his entire heart, how can he do so for multiple people at once?

Regardless, I give nothing up. Merely I do not take what I have with James for granted. I will do my utmost to ensure that he is provided for, and that he learns all that he needs to succeed in my court. But I know that my skills lie outside of the emotional, and this is an area that he values dearly.

It is the logical conclusion, and one I have come to accept.

[juiceofthevine]

Okay, fine. Just make sure you do take care of him.

[partybabysitter]

Of course. He will want for nothing under my care.

[ I mean, his attempts at helping with that broken bond were: sex, and giving him space, so he's not working with the best toolkit here. But he's trying? ]

[juiceofthevine]

Good. Make sure he's eating enough.

[partybabysitter]

I will ensure he has food at all times. His third season will be especially trying.

[ He doesn't have to add the next part, but. Well. He does care. ]

You know his past better than I, but I bore witness to a dream from his childhood in which he was faced with great mistreatment.

Do you know of these events as well?

[juiceofthevine]

Yes. But if you want to know more about it you'll have to ask him.

[partybabysitter]

Of course. I merely wished to know if you had any experience with handling such things.

I do not wish to cause him pain so I will not ask him. Only if such memories trouble his nightmares.

[juiceofthevine]

I told you before, didn't I? You have to be kind to him. Understanding.

[partybabysitter]

You did. At the time I did not understand the value of your words.

I am not certain that I understand them fully, but I know it is as you said. James deserves kindness.

[juiceofthevine]

Yeah, he does.

[partybabysitter]

Indeed. I will do my utmost to provide him with this, rest assured.

[juiceofthevine]

Okay. Good.

Look, I've got other things I need to do. But you know where to find me, if you remember anything else.

[partybabysitter]

I shall.

Thank you for sharing your memory with me, Edgin. I am well aware that you have no obligation to.